PARENTING WHILE SINGLE

PARENTING WHILE SINGLE

Parenting while single is not easy but it is worth it!

Wow and wow, who knew!

After finding out I was pregnant, I couldn’t wait to share the news, especially after I went through all of the emotions that came popped in my head that cold and snowy morning , December 28, 2000 @ 4:28am.  everything was going well with my relationship, or so I thought.  I was definitely old enough, 31 wasn’t to young in fact, I was probably considered late.  My friends were well into raising their children, I was picking out names, daycares, outfits and nursery themes.

Don’t worry, all will be well!  that what I thought at least, he wasn’t so happy, in fact, he wasn’t thrilled at all!  Talking about the complete opposite of what I was felling and or thinking, so was he!  He knew just how to burst my bubble!  Everything change in an instant.  what was supposed to be the highlight of my life, now seemed gloomed from the start.

What? Why? When did he change?  Did I miss something?  No, no and no, he mislead you.  He wasn’t upfront nor open with you!  Go ahead and begin to pick yourself up and move on. That’s definitely easier said that done.

Talk about conviction and self judgement, I was the world’s worst!  I couldn’t get over all that I had survived only to become a statistic, how did I fall prey and be so foolish!  I cried when I could at other times I put on a brave face and pretended that all was well and my life was grand, while dying a slow death on the inside.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want my baby, in fact she was my miracle child, I just didn’t want my situation.   Couldn’t I for once, have it my way, not!  He never changed and he never stop trying to explain things away.  Oh well, dying and having an abortion were not options, so adapting and adjusting were my only options.   Assess and take note of what I did have and move forward, we have a life to live!

She arrived and she became my reason for being!  She helped me be a better person by being the best Mother I could be!  I think I signed her up for everything she could be signed up for and then some.  We kept busy!  My friend tole me she was proud of me because I kept my word, which she had to remind me of what it was of course.  It was simply that I would raise my daughter with a “full life” mentality and not and “absent father” mentality!  I did.  Even with this thought in mind, I never spoke negatively about her dad to her.   I reminded my daughter that she could only change self and not others, and she was held to the standard of respecting him regardless of his character.

Over the years we had our ups and downs but we laughed a lot and loved much!  We are definitely close and share a bond that allows us to be silly and serious all at the same time.  We have DMT ( dead man talks) and BT ( bubble talks) which allows us to speak our truths in a safe space, priceless!  She tells me that her friends always talk about our relationship as they see it, which warms my heart.  I am eternally grateful to be her mom and I thank God for entrusting her to me, in spite of and despite of.

We have experienced every phase I can think of with anticipation of those to come but I still say, although it wasn’t easy, parenting while single has definitely been worth it!

~Deana

 

PS.  the term single parent came with a stigma of being a statistic, parenting while single gave me the power of having and making a choice!

Change your thoughts, change your words change your words, change your life!

ACCEPT WHAT GOD ALLOWS

ACCEPT WHAT GOD ALLOWS

ACCEPT WHAT GOD ALLOWS

Yes, you had other plans, oh but God said differently! ACCEPT WHAT GOD ALLOWS! It is important to know that nothing can happen without God’s approval. This includes your hurt, pains, sorrows, joys, accomplishments, triumphs, losses, etcetera. Stop worrying about how things coulda, shoulda, woulda worked out and deal with how they worked out! Trust that every action yields a reaction and every cause will have an effect. Everything has a reason, everything has a season and every person has a purpose. So accept what God allows in your life and make the most of it! If God allowed you to go through it, he knew you could do it! Try seeing your worth like GOD SEES your worth! He doesn’t equip those He sends, HE SENDS THOSE THAT HE ALREADY EQUIPPED! I admonish you to ACCEPT WHAT GOD ALLOWS! You may not see it now but your now is laying the solid foundation necessary for your fervent future!!!

#ACCEPT
#ASSESS
#ACTIVATE
#ACCESS

GIVEGODSOMEPRAISE
YOURLIFECOACHDEANA
Remember to like, comment and share

YOU HAVE TO HURT BEFORE YOU HEAL

YOU HAVE TO HURT BEFORE YOU HEAL

You have to hurt before you heal…

Have you experienced hurt? Was it in the past or are you still in the presence of what grieves you? Have you identified your offender? Was it a family member, mate, friend, co-worker, employer or church, etc? Who are you blaming? How fresh are your wounds? Have you masked the pain and placed a big pretty bandaid over your unhealed wounds? Are you barely making it? Are you gonna be ok? I mean really ok? Know that you must attend to and acknowledge your unhealed woes. If you don’t these woes will become the very strongholds that keep you bound. You will not have the life God planned for you, you will cheat yourself out if your destiny. You deserve better! You become comfortable and complacent. You exist instead of living. The bigness in you somehow become minimized. You even convince yourself and everyone around you that you are “fine”. When you are broken on the inside. You pain on the inside is almost unbearable and all you really want to do is cry out. Somehow you have managed to perform day-to-day task without a second thought. Finally, things seem to going ok but then out of no where, you have a flashback. That’s because you haven’t allow yourself to hurt therefore you have not, cannot and will not be able to heal. If you can’t heal, you can’t forgive. Your first step is to allow it to surface, express your true feelings, talk to someone and/or journal. Note: it is not always necessary to confront your offender. Take time to deal with your issue, it might not take 12years, lol. Forgive them and then forgive yourself! If you have never done this, take a few minutes today to stand in the mirror and verbally (out loud) forgive yourself for something you blamed or blame yourself for. It is a freeing experience. To possess the power to forgive is to possess the power to heal, remember, you have to hurt before you can heal!

Remember hurt people, hurt people. So let’s heal together!

I’ll start…
I forgive myself for staying in relationships that I didn’t want in the first place.

I forgive myself for poor choices I made that have lifetime consequences.

I forgive myself for knowing my worth

I forgive myself for loving others more than I loved self

#YOURLIFECOACHDEANA

Remember to like, comment and shareYOU HAVE TO HURT BEFORE

MAKE NO EXCUSES

MAKE NO EXCUSES

MAKE NO EXCUSES

Make no excuses for who or where you are in life! Make no excuses for loving who or how you love But if for some reason change needs to happen, change! You are more than your past! You are not who they say you are! You don’t have to be defined by someone else ‘s definition, instead redefine you and do it now! So, make no excuses, make the necessary changes that your life requires so you can be the best you that you can be! Make no excuse for allowing someone to use or abuse you, instead walk away, NO RUN! You don’t need to have the last word, you don’t need closure, you need to exit and exit now! Make no excuses if you are fat, instead do what it takes to become healthy starting now! Make no excuses for what you have not done, instead recognize and strategize to change things for the better, now! Make no excuses for your life, instead evaluate, take notes and then take action! Make no excuses for accepting less, instead make up your mind to require more from self then more from others. Stop waiting for validation, validate yourself! Speak life! Speak abundance! Speak love! Just speak!!! Make no more excuses, instead make things happen! Please be advise there will be things you want to do BUT THERE WILL BE THINGS YOU NEED TO DO! Make no excuses but make sure you no the difference! As you start your day, make up your mind to make no excuses for where you are at this point, instead make up your mind to make life great for you and yours from this point forward! I love you and I have all the faith that you are ready for such a time as this.

#NOMOREEXCUSES
#EVERYTHINGHASASEASON
#EXPIRATIONDATESMATTER

YOURLIFECOACHDEANA

Remember to like, comment and share

NO MATTER WHAT

NO MATTER WHAT

No matter what it is that you are going through, know that you are going to be alright. You were so close to turning things around and out of no where, things started to fall apart. You don’t have to worry because you have grown since your last trials and tribulations and you already know that all will be well. Yes, sometimes you don’t want to be the strong one, the responsible one or even the good one but know that you were created for such a time and purpose as this. You will be able to survive this struggle! You will walk by faith and not by sight. Yes, you will be a light for someone else in the midst of your valley! So I say to you, no matter what it is you are faced with, keep your head high. Keep your chest out and walk through whatever you are going through. You are not only going through, you are growing through this! May your steps be long and your storm be short! I love you and all that you were created to be!!! I am so glad that you are real! It is because of you that my world is better!

#YOUAREGREATERTHANYOURSTRUGGLE
#YOUAREGREATERTHANYOURPAST
#YOUAREEVERYTHINGYOUNEEDTOBE

YOURLIFECOACHDEANA

Remember to like, share and comment

YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF

YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF

You owe it to yourself to put yourself first! Secondly, you owe it to yourself not to allow others to treat you as they please. You are worthy! You owe to yourself to fight for your beliefs. You owe to yourself to go after what you want and deserve! You are awesome in His eyes and mine! You have doubted yourself and worth long enough, rid yourself of doubt, lack and complacency. It’s ok to be content but you must know the difference. Today try to see in you what He sees in you! Try to imagine yourself living without limits! Now try to do something today to put you one step closer to your goals and one step farther from your doubt(ers)! The time is now, you have waited long enough! Go, do and be what it is you want! I love you and can’t wait to see you at the finish line! Know that the line is not where you are currently. THIS is not, I repeat, this IS NOT IT!

#BECAUSEOFWHOHEIS
#BECAUSEOFWHOYOUARE
#BECAUSEITWASALREADYWRITTEN

YOURLIFECOACHDEANA
Remember to like, share and comment

YOUR LABOR IS NOT INVAIN

YOUR LABOR IS NOT INVAIN

Good morning, I hope and pray that you are well. Today is ‘Labor Day’, I don’t mean that “Labor day” as in the holiday most of you enjoyed on yesterday but labor in the sense of your blood, sweat, trials, troubles, tribulations, struggles, heartaches and pain. Perhaps you have been stressing, procrastinating, telling yourself not today, or giving into your own fears when it comes to you and your dreams, that’s called Labor! Did you know that have you been laboring? Are you even prepared to give birth to a dream, goal, purpose or plan? Or are you just experiencing process? Do you have plan in place? Don’t prolong the process anymore. I am here to serve you notice that you are well OVERDUE! prolonging the process or further delay could be detrimental to your future. YOU WATER HAS BROKE! THE TIME IS NOW! I admonish you to do something purposeful to activate your delivery! Go out of your way to get out of your way! Today is the day! Be it whatever, bring it to fruition. it is necessary to PUSH!

For those of you who, relatively speaking, have been at the hospital a long time just sitting in the waiting room, watching other people deliver one, two or even three goals! No more will you sit by and watch, you are being induced today! It’s a must, it is non-negotiable at this point! No more waiting, no more putting others before you.

You are giving birth today! Whatever you have been laboring for, know that your labor has not and is not invain!

I hope you share you labor and birthing details!

Let’s do this!
#PREGNANTWITHPURPOSE
#PUSHINGWITHPURPOSE
#PREDESTINEDPURPOSE

#YOURLIFECOACHDEANA

Remember to like and comment

WHEN THE ENEMY COUNTS YOU OUT

WHEN THE ENEMY COUNTS YOU OUT

You know that moment when you realized that the very people you thought were cheering you on, were really only waiting for you to fail. No, they were not jealous but somehow envy creeped in and allowed them to just stand instead of playing their part in your process. All I can say is hold on because God is paving pathways on your behalf! He is causing a shift to take place! He is having your enemies call on you. The very stones thrown at you will be the very steps thy elevate you! God is so smooth and subtle that you will have to look back to see what HE has been up to. He is not blazing trails, He is creating trails just for you! You see the enemy though he had you and truth be told you just didn’t know what to think. You kept the faith but evidence seemed lack, oh BUT GOD! Last week alone, God showed favor in your life. Take a minute and just reflect, you didn’t even realize what He did but now you know… Go ahead and give Him thanks! Those that counted you out will not be able to number the blessings God has in store for you! You should have never been counted out, instead you should have been counted on! Don’t worry, no need to explain, it’s just called FAVOR! You are getting ready to reap your harvest! You have sown good seeds in good soil and the time is at hand to reap! You will be able bless so many people, make sure you do! Give God the glory, honor and praise! Before you go, I just want to say, I can see you praising Him; what an awesome sight!
Oh yeah, don’t be braggadocio, be grateful! Give God praise. When you get a chance to shine, shine bright and shine right even when opportunity presents itself to remind others of what they didn’t do, don’t! It was all a part of God’s plan!

#DONTCOUNTMEOUT
#YOUCANCOUNTONME
#BECAUSEICANCOUNTONGOD

YOURLIFECOACHDEANA
Remember to like, share and comment

IT’S NOT OVER

IT’S NOT OVER

Yes, you have done all that you could do. Yes, you have given it your all. Yes, you have prayed and cried then prayed and cried some more but I am here to tell you it’s not over! Yes, you have exhausted all of your options and the enemy is still standing but I say don’t worry. God has been watching and waiting. He allowed you to go through so that you could know Him as a Deliverer, healer, Comforter, Keeper, Redeemer, conqueror and a way out of no way! You have only been knocked down, not out! You have only suffered little because Jesus suffered much. Your struggle and battle is real but our God is real also! He may not come when you want Him but He is always on time! God is made strong in our weakness. You have been attacked in every way possible but I am here to tell you that you were being reconstructed and reassembled because you were getting ready to walk into a new season. Your heart, mind, thoughts, words, praise and worship had to change. Your faith was tested but not shaken! Your test was validating your testimony! You see, you were knocked down so one day you teach someone else how to get back up! So go ahead and start dusting yourself off because you are already on your way back up! As you go through today, tell yourself that it could have been worse, so there is no need to complain!

Just in case you need some reassurance, a month ago you thought something else was going to take you out but truth be told you are still here and you are no where near giving up!

#PREPARATION
#RESTORATION
#ELEVATION

YOURLIFECOACHDEANA
Remember to like, share and comment